hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
