Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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