If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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