Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
