i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
