Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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