i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
