We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
