When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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