I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Randomize