we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
