Someone shit on the floor
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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