Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
