There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
