Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
