ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
