Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
