Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
