and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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