so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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