When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
