At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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