I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
