no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
