Will you blow on my dice?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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