My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
