You just made me feel so damn special
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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