i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You were trust falling into bushes
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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