I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
