I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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