Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize