Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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