I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
