After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
