I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
