Come see our sink grown plant.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Your cock deserves a montage
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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