Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
