Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
