And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
