Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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