Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
