i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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