she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
