oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Everything about him screamed your future.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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