She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
