Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize