I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
