so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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