Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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