Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
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