Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
