My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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