One girl and one boy is just not enough.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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