dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize