Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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