I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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