Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
