Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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