You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
