Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I supernannyed him into submission
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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