We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
