Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize