i think my mom watched the whole time
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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