I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
