I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize