Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize