You're so nebulous sometimes
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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