She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
