Can i not drive my cunt home
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
