porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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