I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
