Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
