He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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