I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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